Ok a couple ppl have asked, so I’m adding this info. The music video I reference in this comic is the one for Giovanni Wannabe by Pinguini Tattici Nucleari. :)
i’ve been thinking about hobie spiderverse since i came out of the movie theater, about how on a superficial level he acts like every other stereotypically alt character, stealing and instigating and bantering and being chaotic and rebellious and looking Cool™ but on a second look it’s so so clear that every single thing he does is motivated by kindness and compassion towards his friends in general and miles in particular, and that’s so viscerally truly punk of him
the already famous palm suggestion that makes miles break out of miguel’s containment thing. miles initially reads this as condescending but hobie’s genuinely trying to help
already he’s looking out for miles by trying to keep him away from hq, a place where he knows miles isn’t welcome and might be in danger
now, they get to hq and he immediately starts lifting stuff to homebrew a watch for miles, a guy he’s known for five minutes (bc you can’t convince me he didn’t already have a bunch prepped for gwen and the other spider-people he trusts). he even lampshades it with the line above.
he’s questioned miles’ motives to join the spider society and he knows they’re the same as his own: it’s literally just to get a watch, to have a means to travel dimentions, to see his friends, to build community. he’s already made the decision to grant that ability to miles without subjugating him to the oppressive restrictions and requirements of the spider society. at this point we know he’s strongly ideologically opposed to the society and he later in this scene admits he’s only there to look out for gwen, just like miles
this one makes me insane. it’s a “are you safe at home in your dimension? do you have one? do you need a place to stay?” bc we know he’s given one to gwen, who’s not safe and does not have nice parents and has been crashing in hobie’s dimension for the previous months
and then he tries again to warn miles off the spider society
and when push comes to shove and all the other spider-people are set on stopping miles from going home and changing his timeline he’s the only one in miles’ corner
btw notice how the palms thing is the first and last thing he says to miles in this film?
anyway. he was in this movie for like 15 minutes tops, showed up exclusively to hype up his friends and protect them by whatever means necessary, adoption papers and illegal interdimensional tech included, and he looked that cool the whole time while doing it. most character ever.
So, going by the idea of “every truly great story has a random Texan” (see: Dracula, His Dark Materials), I asked my Tolkien encyclopedia wife what race/culture in The Lord of the Rings is the Texan equivalent. They got real mad when I suggested the Rohirrim (because horse culture, I didn’t actually think that was the answer but I wanted to provoke my wife), and… I’m gonna step aside so my wife can rant about who in LotR is the actual Random Texan.
Horse =/= Texan.
See the thing about the Texan is that they’re alien, they think overly much of themselves, and they’re not actually as good at shit as they think they are.
You know who hits all those buttons?
LEGOLAS GREENLEAF.
1) he’s not familiar to the POV characters, being an elf.
2) He and all Silvan elves think very highly of themselves even when it’s not really justified anymore.
3) he foregoes a saddle in a situation where riding bareback is actively harder and more inclined to overexertion, probably bc he doesn’t actually know how to handle a saddle but is, bc of point 2, unwilling to reveal he has no idea what the fuck he’s doing.
Legolas Greenleaf is the Texan of Lord of the Rings.
so the thing about my family is that we have two ancestors on my dad’s side who were buried in france, where I currently live. one died in the spanish civil war, and one died prior doing…we don’t know what. but he somehow managed to get buried in père lachaise.
so anyhow, my gran sends me a message like “pls put flowers on ur uncle samuel’s grave because he’s gone over a century with none and it will make the ghost mad if he hasn’t already” because my family spends time in europe but never long enough to go all the way to père lachaise and give ya boy samuel jr. his death rites. so im like “ok gran I can do that” bc im a good grandson and you do not fuck with gran she doesn’t DESERVE THAT
i figure out which plot he’s on and ask someone specifically where you can find uncle samuel jr. and they tell me where and so I arrive at the junction and.
HE GONE.
WHERE DID YOU GO UNCLE SAMUEL.
*celine dion’s smash hit “my heart will go on” playing in the distance*
in other words either someone stole my entire great great uncle samuel or he has risen again, ready to party in paris for all of eternity.
You’re pretty chill about a corpse disappearing.
My guy, my dude, he’s been dead since 1851. He could be anywhere. He does what he wants.
What a way to learn you have a Vampire in the family.
“Before proceeding further, the Court notes that this case involves two extremely likable lawyers, who have together delivered some of the most amateurish pleadings ever to cross the hallowed causeway into Galveston, an effort which leads the Court to surmise but one plausible explanation. Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact complete with hats, handshakes and cryptic words to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed. Whatever actually occurred, the Court is now faced with the daunting task of deciphering their submissions. With Big Chief tablet readied, thick black pencil in hand, and a devil-may-care, laugh-in-the-face-of-death, life-on-the-razor’s-edge sense of exhilaration, the Court begins.”
— Bradshaw v. Unity Marine Corp., Inc., 147 F. Supp. 2d 668 (S.D. Tex. 2001)
Oh boy
I googled the full judgement (x) and it just… keeps going like that. The judge has no chill and also may be my new hero.
“Despite the continued shortcomings of Plaintiff’s supplemental
submission, the Court commends Plaintiff for his vastly improved choice
of crayon. Brick Red is much easier on the eyes than Goldenrod, and stands
out much better amidst the mustard splotched about Plaintiff’s
briefing. But at the end of the day, even if you put a calico dress on
it and call it Florence, a pig is still a pig.”
i’ve been thinking about this video nonstop since the first time i saw it
the jaunty walk perfectly in time with the music. the tip of the hat the unaware or uncaring bystanders. the shaky camera with random zooming. the fact that this is seemingly happening in a park. this is peak media i can’t get over it
Paracelsus walking into the university of Wurtenberg to tell the other doctors stop treating gunshot wounds with poultices made of feathers and cow manure.
Paracelus after treating period cramps with tampons soaked in alchemically synthesized laudanum.
